WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm always down for nudity.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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