so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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