I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Randomize