Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
