everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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