I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
