i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
