Have you finally orgasmed yet?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You ruined the universe
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
