So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
