Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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