so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
