No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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