You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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