please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
