My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
