he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
