And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
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yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
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We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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