Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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