Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
