But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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