I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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