She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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