so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
