So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
