dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
