Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
