Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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