I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I love having hate sex.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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