I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
