Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
