He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
