Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
