i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
