im about as happy as oj after his trial
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
