Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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