WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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