I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
