girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
And then the night went full on bisexual.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.