Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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