I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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