Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
