if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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