what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
