what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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