So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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