our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Panties = found
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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