I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
