He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
