We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
