did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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