and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
