when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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