I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
