So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
