you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
