yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dignity is for republicans.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
