Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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