Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
