Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
