i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
