Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
