shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
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Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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