are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
